I work in the woods as a forester, and I manage our National Forest lands. This is a true story from a day in the woods last month.
Adjacent to the creek swollen with snowmelt water, a large smooth object caught my eye, conspicuously different from the ragged pine needles. As I crept closer, I noticed the smooth object was a naked woman. Her breasts were bared upright and she lay still. Was she dead? Grisly scenes from television crime dramas floated through my head. I stalked closer. The woman was headless, and her hand had been hacked off. Definitely not alive. Her skin was damaged – was it due to exposure to the elements? I peered closely at her bare leg, her skin looked mottled, almost melted. Casting a glance to her feet, her toenails were perfectly French-manicured, as were the fingernails on her remaining hand. She wore a fragment of white tulle fabric near her waist. I bent closer to examine her headless neck. There were no neck bones. She was not human! I was flooded with relief, followed quickly by an intensely creepy feeling. I realized I was within eight inches from someone’s sex doll!
I pivoted, suddenly concerned for my own safety, alone in the woods. Was I on camera being filmed? Was something else creepy out here? I thought, Whoa! I am WAY TOO CLOSE to this sex-doll murder and body dump! I jumped back a few feet, snapped a photo and immediately sent it to my colleagues. “Ewwww!” texted one. “Gross!” exclaimed another. The longer I stood there, the creepier I felt. Adrenaline rush subsiding, I backed far enough away that I could continue my work in the woods, extra careful to leave well before dusk.
Before this, the strangest thing I had found in the woods (many years ago) was a 6-foot tall, stuffed kangaroo, miles from a road. I strapped that big ole kangaroo to my back and carried it all the way to the truck, predicting a round of laughter with my colleagues. Unfortunately, it took me a long time to lug the kangaroo back to the truck and my coworkers were waiting for me to drive home; they were unimpressed by my find. This sex-doll murder beat that old kangaroo tale, by far. It was the creepiest thing I have ever found in the woods.
I didn’t share the story widely right away. It was a tough couple of days at the beginning of the second Trump administration. I was saying goodbye to friends and colleagues, as they were furloughed and fired. It was chaos, it was stressful. I was angry. I was sad. But then, despite the tough days, I texted good friends to share the sex-doll murder story. Over the next week, I found myself sharing the stories of the sex-doll murder and the six-foot tall stuffed kangaroo with friends and colleagues. People called to hear me tell the stories. We rolled with much needed laughter.
I have come to realize that Spirit has an irreverent and ironic sense of humor. I believe that stumbling upon a sex-doll murder on the very same day that my colleagues were losing their jobs, was very much intentional on the part of Spirit. The strangest thing I have found in the woods came paired with some of the hardest days. It had to be something extreme – like a sex-doll murder – to snap me, my friends and colleagues out of our anger, stress, anxiety and sadness. Belly-aching laughter was a healing salve. For a moment we found relief, togetherness, and joy. I thank Spirit for that moment of grace. I remain hopeful in these tough times that we will continue to find Spirit-led moments that bring us peace, communion and joy.
Kristin Winford, Blog Contributor, Reno Friends Meeting
(The opinions expressed above are not necessarily those of Reno Friends Meeting)