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Quaker Practice This Month's Blog Post

The Hold-In-The-Light List

Every First Day, at the end of Silent Worship, the clerk of Reno Friends Meeting reads the Hold-in-the-Light List. This is a list of all those we are “holding in the Light of God.” It usually includes the names of loved-ones we are concerned about because of illness, injury or trouble, and also a statement extending our concern to “all those who live in places where there is strife and need.” In difficult times, the list can get quite long.

Like many other Quaker Meetings, we have always had a Hold-in-the-Light List, but at Reno Friends we haven’t always read it at close of Worship. We started doing that a few years ago during the pandemic. I do not remember who thought of reading it after Worship, but I soon came to appreciate how important the reading of the list was for our small Meeting.

To “hold someone in the Light” is the Quaker way of saying we will pray for them. When I say it, I imagine the person sitting in a beam of God’s love and light, soaking in the healing goodness. I like to think that God’s love and light is always there, ready for someone to step into the circle (or be carried there by the concern of another), so that they can feel their world illuminated by love. It feels better to me than praying, perhaps because the prayers I heard as a child always seemed like beseeching God to do what someone wanted – to heal a friend, relieve someone’s burden, or turn fate in our favor. Instead of asking God for what I want, I just imagine the person I’m concerned about bathed in the Light.

One of the things I love about Quakers is that everyone has their own take on things, including the concept of holding someone in the Light. At a recent Spiritual Discussion, Reno Friends shared their differing perspectives. Some said that holding someone in the Light feels like they are reaching out to shine that Light on them. One woman said she envisions a radiating loving kindness coming through her from a power outside or behind her. Others said they center down into Silent Worship by holding in the Light all those who are in the room, one by one. As one Friend said, “I assume God will know what I mean and what is needed.”

What I came to understand during the pandemic was that the Hold-in-the-Light list was a vital reminder of how much hurt and sadness was afoot in the world, and in our small circle. People listed friends who had been sick, relatives who needed medical care, people they knew who were lonely or struggling. The list also included many of our Meeting members and attenders at various times. There was loss and grief in the Meeting, and the list was our testament to that difficult truth.

I have little doubt that our Hold-in-the-Light list strengthened the sense of community in our Meeting during that challenging time, when we could not gather in our Meeting House and had to rely on Zoom for worship, discussions, meetings and social get-togethers. The list helped keep us united despite our isolation, and tender toward each other and the world. The list became more important than ever.

As we head into the season of Light this December – the celebration of the Star of Bethlehem, the Hanukkah candles on the Menorah, and the Kwanzaa lights – I am reminded of the power of God’s Light and how holding someone who is hurting in the sweet bath of that Light can be a step toward healing. Sharing the Hold-in-the-Light list every First Day keeps our Meeting cohesive and concerned about one another. It reminds us that this Friend is worried about her elderly sister; that another is grieving the death of a dear companion; that someone else is weighed down by illness. And it reminds us to reach out and find a way to help.

Wendy Swallow, Blog Editor, Reno Friends Meeting

The opinions expressed above are not necessarily those of Reno Friends Meeting.

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Quaker Practice

The Gifts of Silence

My husband and I were hiking on a ridge above Lake Tahoe recently when I suddenly realized I could hear almost nothing. This happens out west – if you go far enough off-road you can often find a place beyond the whine of the highway or the hum of the city. We were hiking late in the day, so there were few others around. Even the birds were quiet. The tall pines and slanting light made it feel like we were walking through holy space, the world hushed in reverence.

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Quaker Practice

The Book of Joy

In March I went on a retreat to Graeagle. My friend, Peggy, sent along The Book of Joy by the Dalai Lama and Bishop Desmond Tutu. What an amazing teaching this book was for me during my sacred time! It was exactly what I needed. Before my retreat, I had been feeling increasingly hopeless about the future of humanity and all of our relations that share this planet with us. This is a familiar issue for me and one I’ve blogged about before.

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Quaker Practice

Growing Old, Gracefully

The Reno Friends monthly book club recently met to ponder both the challenges and blessings of growing older. Or at least to try and find a few blessings.

Our book for the month was On the Brink of Everything: Grace, Gravity and Growing Old, by Quaker writer Parker Palmer, a primer to both the yin and yang of the aging experience.

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Quaker Practice

Contentment

Be content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you. ~ Lao Tzu

Lately I’ve been reflecting on contentment, curious about why I have been feeling increasingly content. January is usually when we resolve to change for the better, not a time to be content. I think what has changed for me this year is that I’m slowly dropping a lifelong habit of perfectionism; perfectionism and contentment do not make good bedfellows. In my practices of Qigong, Tai Chi, yoga and meditation, I’ve been focusing on being present and in complete acceptance with what is happening in the moment, what I can and cannot do. Perhaps after many years of practice, something is sinking in more deeply. Maybe it is part of aging and accepting of reality. Probably, it’s a combination of practices and life experience. There are blessings in getting older!

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Quaker Practice

Shedding the Cloak of Over-Responsibility

Every morning I awake torn between a desire to save the world and an inclination to savor it. This makes it hard to plan the day. But if we forget to savor the world, what possible reason do we have for saving it? In a way, the savoring must come first.”

~  E. B. White

I can’t recall when my mission to save the world and others began or how I became overly responsible. It’s been such a part of me for so long I didn’t realize what a toll it was taking until I got older. This cloak of over-responsibility is heavy. It slows my steps, saps my life energy and joy. It keeps me so busy; I don’t have time to slow down, rest and savor life.

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Quaker Practice

The Spirituality of Creativity

Last month, Reno Friends gathered for a lively discussion on the spiritual aspects of creativity. Some in our group are artists, some musicians or writers or poets. Others said they tapped their creativity in less obvious ways, such as organizing their home or working on financial spreadsheets. But whether we paint or build or write or puzzle over math problems, all of us shared interesting ways that spirituality in general – and our Quaker faith in particular – enhanced our creative process.

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Quaker Practice

Detached Compassion

What does Detached Compassion mean? Doesn’t being compassionate involve passionate caring about others? I began exploring this concept while I was in the throes of burnout. After years as a counselor, I wasn’t sure I could go on caring so much for others and neglecting myself. I was suffering from compassion fatigue, which is a common problem in helping professions.

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Quaker Practice

New Year Messages from My Redwood Retreat

Sometime last summer, I hit a wall. My Light sputtered and I felt exhausted and depressed. I think it was Pivot Fatigue–a condition caused by too many changes and adaptations brought on by Covid, and then by our relentless wildfire season. Add to that the growing needs of our elders, which had also changed our lives considerably.

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Quaker Practice

Speaking in Silent Worship

Quakers are known for gathering to worship in silence, and yet they also gather to hear the many voices of God. Instead of a prepared sermon or liturgy, Quakers worship through “vocal ministry,” messages offered out of the silence by those who feel moved to speak.