When I went through a difficult time in my life many years ago, I drew great solace from a group of Quaker women. We met twice a month for fellowship and food, offering each other in turn the gift of compassionate listening. I was moved by their patience with me and by their restraint. Instead of showering me with advice, they just listened, trusting that all I needed was a chance to lay out the problem and see it afresh.
Quakers believe that each one of us contributes to the spiritual strength of the loving community and that the community can serve as a guiding and sustaining force in the life of each individual.
Sometimes a person in the Friends Meeting will seek help making a tough decision or addressing a personal problem — whether it’s about work or family, marriage or divorce, taking a stand on a public issue, serving as a witness, or following a leading. When that happens, the Meeting convenes what we call a clearness committee to meet with the person and offer caring support. The members of the committee do not serve as a professional counselor giving advice or as a colleague hashing through the problem. Instead, they listen with patience — not only to the person in need but also to the movement of the Spirit in their hearts. Their purpose is not to criticize or offer collective wisdom but instead to listen without prejudice or judgment, to help clarify alternatives, and to provide spiritual and emotional support. The goal is clearness for the seeker.
At Reno Friends we have convened several clearness committees in the past few years, and I’m sure we will convene more. Friends say that asking for help in reaching clearness requires personal discernment and trust in the Spirit. Those who serve on clearness committees often find that responding to such a request creates the opportunity to invite spiritual guidance into our everyday lives.
In the Light,
Wendy Swallow, Clerk of Reno Friends Meeting
email: wswallow54 (at) gmail.com
The opinions expressed above are not necessarily those of Reno Friends Meeting.