Category Archives: Meeting Community

Compassionate Listening and Adult Children of Alcoholics

Reno Friends Meeting hosts several community groups in our Meeting House, providing space for organizations that share our Quaker values and have no home of their own. For the last year, members of the Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families have gathered inside our space on Thursday nights. This 12-step fellowship program is designed to promote healing for those who struggle with neglect, shame, abuse and other legacies of growing up in a home led by alcoholic or dysfunctional parents.

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The Great Applesauce Giveaway

Every fall the children in our First Day School (FDS) collect apples from the tree behind the building where our First Day program meets on Sundays. The kids have picked up the fruit mostly so there wouldn’t be a big mess. But this fall FDS decided to put the apples to good use by cooking up food for Reno’s homeless. That’s how the Great Applesauce Giveaway was launched.

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The New Jim Crow

Several years ago, Reno Friends committed to finance the operating costs of the Nevada chapter of the Alternatives to Violence Project. AVP’s volunteers lead conflict resolution workshops inside Nevada prisons, seeking to empower inmates to lead nonviolent lives. The Meeting’s decision was not difficult: Quakers embrace the principle of nonviolence, and they have cared deeply about prison issues since the early members of the Society of Friends were jailed for their beliefs.

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What Keeps Us from Committing to the Quaker Way of Life?

When Reno Friends gathered for a spirituality workshop last month, one of the most revealing questions to the group was “What keeps you from committing your life more deeply to Friends’ practices and the Quaker Way of life?”

Quaker spirituality is rooted in each person’s experience of God. So it’s not surprising that members and attenders of Reno Friends might have varied roadblocks to turning their lives over to God more fully. The Quaker testimonies, a set of convictions shared by Quakers, can set a high standard for spiritual and action-led commitment. The Integrity Testimony alone calls on Quakers to always tell the truth, to speak simply in the world so our truth can be understood, and to strive for authenticity in following one’s conscience.  As one Reno Friend put it, “living up to the scruples of Quakerism can be hard.”

Some Reno Friends said they struggle to set aside the comforts and excitement of the secular world to clear space for silence and contemplation. “It is difficult to keep a continuous connection to the spiritual alive when we are distracted by our cellphones and computers,” said one.

Others said the problems of life, “what needs changing in the greater world,” are a more serious distraction for them. Spirit-led action is all well and good, but too much busyness can prevent people from focusing inwardly and experiencing the transformation within.

Some people said they fear that a spiritual transformation might make them unbearable in society, or distance them from friends or family who might not understand, or are of different religions or persuasions. “If we took the inner insights to the ultimate end,” said one Reno Friend, “it could disrupt our whole way of life on a day-to-day basis.”

In the same vein, others said they are hesitant to take the leaps of faith common among early Quakers, who sometimes gave up professions or family or even their freedom to follow their leadings. Modern-day Quakers often don’t feel they have the strong Quaker community surrounding them that the early Quakers enjoyed.  “It’s hard for us to stay connected to Spirit without the shared experience of communal life in our faith community,” one Reno Friend said.

Others agree that risking the consequences of spirit-led action without support of a group felt daunting. One Reno Friend spoke of struggling with a leading that he feared would threaten his work and jeopardize his ability to support his family.  “I couldn’t risk that,” he said.

Indeed, Quakerism does raise thorny societal issues and asks each of us to examine our inner conscience and outward action. But the community of Quakers also accepts that each person is on their own spiritual path and timeline. It is up to each one of us to determine how we will deepen our individual spirituality and express that in the larger world.

Wendy Swallow, Clerk of Reno Friends Meeting

 email: wswallow54 (at)

The opinions expressed above are not necessarily those of Reno Friends Meeting.

What Draws You to Quakerism?

The first time people attend a Quaker Meeting, they often find Silent Worship mystifying. It looks like nothing is happening, and that there’s no apparent reason why everyone has gathered. There’s no minister guiding the worship, no liturgy lending structure, no music filling the soul. There are just Friends, each head down in her or his own private silence.

Without the obvious expressions of faith common to most worship services, such as hymns, Bible readings or sermons, it can be challenging for Quakers to explain why they choose to gather for Silent Worship. In some ways, the Society of Friends took the Protestant Reformation to its ultimate expression:  they stripped away everything that served as a mediator between individuals and God so that each person could experience the divine directly, internally, in her or his own way.

As the Quaker Clarence E. Pickett wrote: “We who are members of the Society of Friends have little to fall back on except as our experience with truth. We cannot resort to ritual or creed or to ecclesiastical decisions for guidance. We must find our way by seeing the hand of God at work in the weaving of the fabric of everyday life.”

This month, when Reno Friends gathered for a day-long spirituality workshop, one of the first questions the group explored was “What is Compelling about Quakerism – What Draws You In?” The answers ranged widely but helped articulate what Quakers care about.

Many said they are attracted by the communal quality of Silent Worship; there is something powerful about sitting together in what Quakers call “expectant silence.” For many of us, the hour of silence Sunday morning calms the mind and focuses our attention on that “small, still voice inside,” whether we think of that as our conscience, our moral core, God’s voice or something else. The silence helps us take time to listen to that of God inside ourselves.

Some said they feel inspired by early Quakers’ willingness to seek this vital inner experience despite the threat of persecution and imprisonment in their day. Others said they are drawn by the absence of a specific creed or statement of belief, saying it makes room for the findings of modern science and keeps the individual experience of God at the heart of the faith. Others talked of the power of “turning the spiritual searchlight inward” and agreed that is stronger when done in community.

At the same time, Reno Friends said they are drawn to Quakerism just as much by the outward expression of Quaker principles as they are by the inner quest. From their earliest days in the 1600s, Quakers carried their beliefs into the world, supporting those who were hungry, homeless, needy or imprisoned. Many in our workshop said they like how the foundations of Quakerism – so full of kindness, compassion and love – lead directly to embracing social justice. Others said they are attracted by Quakers’ willingness to stand up to the established social order and speak Truth to power and empire.  Some said they are inspired by the Quakers’ courage in following their principles, such as pacifism, despite painful worldly consequences. And for most Quakers, the idea of seeking that of God in everyone is a central tenet.

We invite you to experience “expectant silence” for yourself. Silent Worship may sometimes look like a blank slate, but inside there are many things going on.

Wendy Swallow, Clerk of Reno Friends Meeting

 email: wswallow54 (at)

The opinions expressed above are not necessarily those of Reno Friends Meeting.

Why Reno Friends Go Camping

Every fall the Reno Friends head to Grover Hot Springs State Park near Markleeville, California, for a weekend camping trip. We hike, swim in the hot springs pool, huddle in tents when it rains, and cook epic meals over bonfires. Most important, we talk — sometimes casually, sometimes with intensity. For a group that worships in silence, our time together around the campfire feels precious and important.

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The Maple Leaf

Recently a Reno Friend offered the Meeting a large photograph of a maple leaf. It was a vivid image, the veins of the leaf quite pronounced, branching and spreading in all directions. The Friend told us she became attached to the image after another Reno Friend suggested the leaf illustrated that there are many paths to God. Her hope was that we would hang the painting in the Meeting House.

Other groups might say yea or nay quickly, without much deliberation. Not the Quakers.  Meeting House decoration can be a loaded question. Early Quakers were notoriously “plain-living,” eschewing fancy dress and sumptuous furnishings. They also rejected the ornate Anglican and Catholic church buildings of their day, and many Quakers still prefer to keep their Meeting Houses simple. Yet we have found that sometimes this “blank slate” interior, combined with the silence of our worship, can leave visitors wondering what we are about.

At Reno Friends we have occasionally used our Meeting House walls to showcase local artists  or to hang posters with Quaker messages. But none of these are permanent fixtures. Indeed, we have a policy prohibiting permanent art on the Meeting House walls: we would not want to promote any particular path toward God.

In the Quaker tradition there is even a testimony against proselytizing; we believe each person must determine the truth for themselves. As Quaker Clarence E. Pickett said: “We who are members of the Society of Friends have little to fall back on except as our experience with truth. We cannot resort to ritual or creed or ecclesiastical decisions for guidance. We must find our way by seeing the hand of God at work in the weaving of the fabric of daily life.”

After some discussion, our Meeting decided to accept the picture of the maple leaf for temporary display. While it hangs on our wall, we’ll each have time to consider what the leaf means to us.  There are many paths to God, enough for each to have their own.

In the Light,

Wendy Swallow, Clerk of Reno Friends Meeting

 email: wswallow54 (at)

The opinions expressed above are not necessarily those of Reno Friends Meeting.

A New Home on the Web

When my husband and I moved to Reno seven years ago, we went searching for a spiritual community online….

I checked out several different religious websites, but was attracted to Reno Friends Meeting by the personal feel of its site.  There were bios of attenders, welcoming faces, and a treasure trove of material on Quakerism.  We went to Silent Worship the next weekend and have been attending ever since.

Today, though, that original Reno Friends website feels out of date.  How quickly technology changes!  In an effort to reach out to the Northern Nevada community, Reno Friends has built a new web site that we hope will be easier to use and more inviting to newcomers.  Building on the WordPress blog platform, we reorganized and distilled content from the old site, building a site we hope you will find useful, attractive and easy to navigate. It will also be easier for us to manage internally, enabling more frequent updates.

As part of our redesign, we have added this monthly blog about the interesting things we’re doing at the Meeting — whether it’s the annual fall camping trip to Grover Hot Springs or the new class on Quaker Testimonies.  We will also fold the monthly newsletter into the website and provide a more robust calendar of future events.  My hope is that the Reno Friends website will become a resource and home for everyone interested in Quaker practice and philosophy in the Reno-Tahoe area.

In the Light,


Wendy Swallow, Clerk of Reno Friends Meeting


 email: wswallow54 (at)


The opinions expressed above are not necessarily those of Reno Friends Meeting.